my car died yesterday. it was sad to see leon the neon on the side of the road, smoking out of the hood. but i just sat on the trunk and looked at the open fields and the clouds and waited for the wrecker. it's events like this that make me happy that i have family around to help. if i move to some distant corner of the globe, i'd be completely alone and things like this would have to be dealt with entirely on my own. when the wrecker came he just hooked a chain up to the front and pulled me a couple miles down the road to a mechanic. i got to steer my car while he pulled and it was kind of fun. poor car. we've been through a lot together. i know it's ugly as sin and it's probably the worst car on the road, but it has lasted so long despite so much tragedy. twice i packed all of my belongings into that thing and risked mountain passes, snow, lightning, wind, deer…traveled cross-country when it had no business doing so…pushed it to the limit and it rarely let me down. so many memories. trips to the beach. love making. the music that has been through those speakers…even the tiny hint of makeup that's still on the visor from when angie used to use the little mirror for applications on the fly. <lj-cut "photos">