I can't believe it's almost been a year since I moved home from Florida.

I haven't been single for this long since I started dating. of course I've had pseudo relationships/encounters; nothing serious, and it's really starting to be a drag. it's not that I haven't had opportunities with people, I'm just not moved by anyone recently. and physical attraction only goes so far. this pond is far too small. the only person I've even made a hard core connection with [imo, anyway…don't know if it was reciprocal] is Ashley [are you reading this?–you really touched me…and I'm extraordinarily grateful having met you. and I'm happy that you're happy with your current situation! [hi Ryan]].

lately I've been thinking about how it's going to feel when I finally settle down. stop partying on the weekends and just relax. really focus on myself…maybe write a lot or make music. not with the intent of public success…but just for ME. also, focus more on my spirituality. really delve into the matter and LIVE it.

I think of maybe living alone in a small house in the country with a stone-fenced backyard and a garden. my little bedroom and modest library. my fireplace and my ottoman. everything in its right place–nothing special to anyone else–just me. I think I'm ready for that. Even if I'm not doing the job of my dreams. I'll just have my own little section of the universe where I can live and be content and then die. it's so romantic to me. it just seems right.